You might have too much horsepower if...

Mrs347stroker · 18-09-2005, 10:13 PM

I believe this is what it's going to be like when hubby finishes working on his car.......

YOU MIGHT HAVE TO MUCH HORSEPOWER IF ...

1. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull onto the rollers.
2. You can't drive your car in the rain.
3. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.
4. You are afraid to drive your car.
5. You spend more on tires than on food.
6. You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
7. You look in a state police car and see a picture of your car taped to the dash.
8. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.
9. You have to go to the track to buy gas.
10. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you.
11. Jacques Villeneuve and Michael Schumacher wave you by.
12. You can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
13. You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office.
14. Red signal lights shift to green as you're approaching then shift back to red as you're receding.
15. You arrive somewhere before you left.
16. You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the hood."
17. You remove the $2000 stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight.
18. You are not allowed to run in the Silver State Challenge.
19. You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in the Cannonball Run.
20. Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car.
22. You need parachute braking.
23. Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the car.
24. There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighborhood at 6 am.
25. Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors...)
26. Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your car.
27. Fuel is delivered to your home: in 55 gallon drums!
28. You carry earplugs in your car.(doesn't everybody???)
29. The only spot on the car which receives any regular cleaning is the windshield. (what else is there to clean???)
30. You find out that side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph.
31. Young children cling to their mommies in fear when you round the corner.
32. Birds fall out of their nests from the rumble of your 5" dual exhaust.
33. All the major Tire makers are sending you free slicks in hopes of endorsment deal.
34. The UPS guy took to taking Steroids so he could keep up with your shipments.
35. The Fed Ex guy had a nervous breakdown.
36. All the wildlife within a 800ft radius around your house got the HELLOUT.
37. The nearest Geological Seismic Surveying Station Operator knows your address by heart.
38. A booming voice greets potential passengers with, "That's right ....you paid for the whole seat but you'll only need the EDGE.
39. The earth slows in rotation when you hook up on your new slicks and head east.
40. You have to screw your slicks to the wheels.
41. Your exhaust pipes are larger in diameter than your driveline.
42. Your fuel pump flows enough to water a golf course.
43. Your compression's high enough you could run diesel fuel.
44. The sparks from your wheelie bars start grass fires on the side of the road.
45. Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.
46. You measure the fuel you use in "gallons per mile."

Casper · 18-09-2005, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs347stroker

YOU MIGHT HAVE TO MUCH HORSEPOWER IF ...

Stop right there..... this has already become a falsehood... you can never have too much horsepower :P

Laminge · 18-09-2005, 10:20 PM

47) If it ends up sitting the backyard and used to Systematically kill of the grass!

347Stroker · 18-09-2005, 10:35 PM

48) You forget the wife exists, and put a matress in the garage!

b2tf · 18-09-2005, 11:04 PM

I was going to read through them but then I realised what I drive and knew it wouldnt be a problem for me.

The MaDDeSTMaN · 18-09-2005, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by back2thefutura

I was going to read through them but then I realised what I drive and knew it wouldnt be a problem for me.

Hahaha, same here mate, same here :hihi:

:

mustang · 18-09-2005, 11:46 PM

i still did just for a laugh :P

MRJUCY · 19-09-2005, 12:00 AM

I can relate to plenty of them but I need far more power still

Dave_au · 19-09-2005, 12:03 AM

49) Steffo considers it fast

:

Shonky · 19-09-2005, 12:55 AM

50) You drive your Grandma to church and she no longer has wrinkles...

**Stav** · 19-09-2005, 12:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MRJUCY

I can relate to plenty of them but I need far more power still

Those words are poetry!!!

KEV EB XR8 · 19-09-2005, 08:39 AM

has hubby seen this yet ??? domestic violence order no 85626594

Mrs347stroker · 19-09-2005, 09:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KEV EB XR8

has hubby seen this yet ??? domestic violence order no 85626594

He has seen it, he is 347stroker and added his 2cents worth already....

Gammaboy · 19-09-2005, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs347stroker

8. You throw your underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.

Sounds like Saturday evening, hey Mandy? :P

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs347stroker

26. Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your car.

House? not yet, Office, Yes!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs347stroker

34. The UPS guy took to taking Steroids so he could keep up with your shipments.

Our receptionist maybe....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs347stroker

41. Your exhaust pipes are larger in diameter than your driveline.

Not anymore :P

But really, you can never have too much horsepower..... can you?

megsy · 19-09-2005, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mrs347stroker

and added his 2cents worth already

what about GST??

Mrs347stroker · 19-09-2005, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by megsy

what about GST??

We will just round it up to 5cents worth, that should cover it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 347stroker

48) You forget the wife exists, and put a matress in the garage!

Thanks.......is that how much I mean to you. LOL!!!

Sourbastard · 19-09-2005, 10:21 AM

YARRRR!!! It be lies! All know in these waters that horsepowers be grand! And the more that present the better! Ill keel haul ye!

Shonky · 19-09-2005, 10:27 AM

Good to see you are getting into the spirit of "talk like a Pirate day" Bastard...

Sourbastard · 19-09-2005, 10:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Young 'un

Good to see you are getting into the spirit of "talk like a Pirate day" Bastard...

Yar what talk like a pirate day?

Shonky · 19-09-2005, 11:16 AM

The one with the Busty Wenches...

Melz · 19-09-2005, 11:49 AM

I have to agree with the following points, but i don't have the power!! hehe
2. You can't drive your car in the rain. (it will rust away)
3. Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car. (noone dares go near my car)
4. You are afraid to drive your car. (only in town...)
5. You spend more on tires than on food. (hmmm... in the family i have 2 horse floats, 1 car trailer and 6 cars to keep wheels on.. thats my contribution to the house)
6. You spend more on car insurance than on house payments. (pretty much the same as above)
10. Your mechanic names the new wing of his shop after you. (my mechanic only remembers me cause i annoy the hell out of him, well you would be wanting to know why he changed the timing belt too after 1000km!!)
23. Your 'significant other' won't even ride in the car. (no one has driven my car.. no one is game)
24. There is no possible way to "sneak out" of your neighborhood at 6 am. (I have sticky-beak neighbours, they knew when i got thrown off my horse and was left laying in the paddock unable to move!!! Didn't come to help either)
25. Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors...) (Even my horses run away..)
26. Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of your car. (why not? its my pride and joy)
30. You find out that side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph. (my mirrors didn't hold up at 130km/hr!!)
36. All the wildlife within a 800ft radius around your house got the HELLOUT. (i live in the bush, haven't hit a roo yet.. so they must be worried)