A warning to all.

[Fev]

bahaha what a moron.. hopefully she doesnt pollute the gene pool in the future..

i love
"the flames went into my face and burnt my hair then it spread all over the room and burned my vacuum cleaner"

OH LAWDY!! NOT THE VACUUM CLEANER!!

you'd think she'd be more upset about.. well.. ya know.. her room goin up in smoke..

[FGII-XR6]

A Darwin award waiting to happen

[S3SR]

funniest part she was treated for smoke inhalation while she was smoking

[AndrewR_AUII]

[Linz]

Originally Posted by MOTORE

Since when do bedrooms double up as a workshop?

Well, from what I've seen in the "for sale" section, there's a lot of guys that use bedrooms as spare parts warehouses .

[Full Noise]

Originally Posted by rodderz

Imagine seeing her mow the lawn with the electric flymo!

Don’t give her any ideas, she’d probably try to clean it in the bath “plugged in”. Charles Darwin should open up an office over there. I remember some clown in Adelaide who put petrol in his washing machine because he thought it would do a better job of cleaning his greasy overalls.

[Fev]

and what happened?

[Full Noise]

There was a fire and he suffered severe burns, also his house was badly damaged.

[TUF_302]

WTF!!, People get dumber everyday i think!

[Elks]

:

Anyway I was cleaning the Combine Harvester in the dining room the other day....

[Thunder]

Originally Posted by Feathers

It's because of people like her that warning labels on chainsaws tell you not to stop them with your hands or genitals.

Funny you mentioned this.

Years ago, after having a shower, i started ironing my shirt. I did the ironing immediately after getting out of the shower......so i was in the nude.

Being the perfectionist i am with ironing, i put an extra effort into getting the wrinkles out of the seams. The ironing board had a stuffed runner, so it was always set too low (half way up to my thighs)...........and i learned a very painful lesson on how to remove wrinkles out of my man tonsils!

Originally Posted by 87 XF - AU11

YOU MUST HAVE A BIG DOORWAY TO GET THE AU IN........................

Nah mate, f6cken sh1zbox is in 100 pieces, nice build quality.

[montyLalor]

Originally Posted by TXR

I reckon your on the money there. Remember the guy who sued when his Winnebago crashed.

An oldy, but a goody:

London Times Obituary of the late Mr.Common Sense

Interesting and sadly rather true.

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement..

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

[[Tonko]]

I believe there is more to this, and here is what i think really happened:

After trying for many minutes to "trim the rug" and finding the nail clippers took an eternity, she decided to break out the heavy machinery. This being the Victa and Hoover. 1 to cut and 1 to suck up the "clippings"...
It all was going well and looking good so she decided to light a smoke,
"Now to do the top and sides" She says to herself.
While tipping the lawn/muff mower onto its side and subsequently spilling the petrol into the running vacuum, her cigarette was sucked into the Vac and KABOOM! Hair removal in a flash(fire)

I mean, Why else would you have the mower in the bedroom?

[Linz]

Anybody remember the "Jim's Waxing" skit on Comedy Inc.? It's marvelous what you can do with a whipper snipper and a blower .

[bob^]

Originally Posted by rodderz

Does this mean I should stop using the cigarette lighter to check how full my jerry can is?

Sad thing is, I know a bloke who did that. Darwin didn't strike that time though.

[aye you]

Originally Posted by Thunder

Funny you mentioned this.

Years ago, after having a shower, i started ironing my shirt. I did the ironing immediately after getting out of the shower......so i was in the nude.

Being the perfectionist i am with ironing, i put an extra effort into getting the wrinkles out of the seams. The ironing board had a stuffed runner, so it was always set too low (half way up to my thighs)...........and i learned a very painful lesson on how to remove wrinkles out of my man tonsils!

i can just imagine the colourful language you used then.....

[snakeoil]

My god what a face

What the ????and they are legally allowed to print this

I have seen better heads on a half sucked tadpole

Cheers