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03-07-2005, 11:42 PM | #2 | |||
Detroit Locker Equiped TM
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Area 51 (tm)
Posts: 4,928
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Oh that is Gold (tm)!
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Apollo Blue 1974 XB Falcon GT, 557 HP Blue Pearl 2004 BA FPV GT, 290 kW Quote:
http://www.facebook.com/FalconGTClubGeelong |
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04-07-2005, 10:37 AM | #3 | ||
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
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Minginator SYndrome
Psychological Requirements: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Pathological Modifier Symptoms: Delusional Traits - You have tried 3 times and failed to register your car as a commercial aircraft. You cannot understand why your car has achieved cult status among angst filled teenagers in the forum, because the car is just to pick up the kids and the groceries. Hallucinations - When you visit your car in the Garage, you can hear a voice yelling "FEED ME SEYMOUR!". This problem has sometimes led to you being found tucked in a corner of the garage fending off intruders with a torque wrench and a length of fuel line. If you stare long enough into the engine bay, all the equipment in it appears to shrink, forcing you to fumble for your credit card and Herrods Speed Dial Button. Domino's delivery may also be called to quell the shakes until equipment arrives from the overnight courier. You experience Time Dilation during 1/4 mile runs. You are unsure if this is a hallucination or a physical manifestation from approaching the speed of light. Physical Traits - An overwhelming desire to sit on people Drools uncontrollably upon sighting chrome finish or braided hose All items of clothing including undergarments carry sponsor logos Eyes are glazed and pupils constantly dilated due to G Force trauma. Memory bad due to lack of blood getting to the brain from blackouts caused by high speed maneuvers. Treatment Wine, Women & song. (This is more of a distraction than a treatment). Keep patient calm, cool and comfortable at all times. Drunk is better. Stoned is perfect. Hourly Fast Food injections. Prognosis Laminginator Syndrome has no known cure and will eventually lead to Laminginator II Syndrome, Laminginator III Syndrome et al. Eventually a vehicle will be built that when driven will produce enough torque to crush itself and the human occupant into a box the size of a sugar cube.
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1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan 1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack 2003 BA Fairlane G220 Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM |
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04-07-2005, 11:14 AM | #4 | ||
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
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E Series Owner SYndrome
Psychological Requirements: Being a P Plater is a state of mind. Symptoms: Delusional Traits - You believe you have Engineering abilities because you can wield a zip tie and duck tape. You are sure fitting enough BA parts will actually rewind your odometer. Your try to convince others that your tyres arent bald, they are special racing retreads. You keep adding layers of bodgey tint in an attempt capture that "Gansta Pimp" Look. You consider fitting Jaycar Sonar to navigate during the night as you cant see Jack. You tell your peers that your car is "dumped" when in reality you have sold your springs for fuel money, and replaced them with Milo Tins. Hallucinations - You can sense the boost from your electric supercharger. When you are Black Flagged and ejected from the McDonalds Superdrome aka drive thru lane, for excessive smoke and a loose bumper, you complain to the Race Stewards aka McDonalds Manager. When your engine bay catches alight, you try and convince the police that it came that way from the factory. They believe you and leave. Physical Traits - You can be seen lingering near the canon muffler aisle of supercheap, dreaming of what could be, then purchase that 6 pack of degreaser and a new head gasket, remembering what is. Treatment A Regular income and an actual savings plan. Prognosis Without treatment the E Series owner will continue to fix his vehicle until no stock parts remain, however the value of the vehicle will never increase to a level higher then the owners next happy meal purchase, minus the value of the free toy.
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1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan 1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack 2003 BA Fairlane G220 Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM |
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04-07-2005, 12:05 PM | #5 | ||
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
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Cleveland Owner Syndrome
Psychological Requirements: Senility due to old age Symptoms: Delusional Traits - All time stopped for you in 1984 when the last Cleveland was produced. You believe that eventually Cardigans will come back into style, once Ford "Wakes Up!" and start producing brand new Carbie fed Clevelands for the BC Falcon. You believe all fuel bills should be 3 digits long on a weekly basis. Even though your toploader has the feel of a stiltson wrench in bucket of river rocks you think its pretty slick. You truely believy handling involves a threefold increase in horsepower. You cruise aimlessly seaking out that one last bowser of real super, not that poofy premium. Hallucinations - Cleveland owners dont have hallucinations, they tell it like it is with frank honesty and integrity. Even when they are hallucinating. Physical Traits - Back injuries from the mistaken belief that 3 adult males can actually lift out an FMX unassisted. Hand injuries due to clutching the wheel during takeoff in a vain attempt to control the vehicle. Mullet Hairdos. Sideburns. Flannel Shirts. Winnie Blues. Treatment Being dragged kicking and screaming into the present on a daily basis. Prognosis Untreated the cleveland owner will continue to live in the past, until they are all gathered together in a theme park on an island, to live out the remainder of their lives in their traditional dinosaur way.
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1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan 1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack 2003 BA Fairlane G220 Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM Last edited by Sourbastard; 04-07-2005 at 12:11 PM. |
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04-07-2005, 12:50 PM | #6 | |||
Budget Racer
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,418
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Quote:
This stuff is GOLD sourbastard :1syellow1
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12.1@112Mph 285rwkw on n2o Cleveland Power |
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04-07-2005, 03:26 PM | #7 | ||
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
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4 Cylinder Ford Owners Syndrome
Psychological Requirements: Poor Depth Perception Overly Optimistic Symptoms: Delusional Traits - You believe that power is not as important as handling... even though your car travels slow enough that wooden wheels would not effect handling. You want to get larger wheels for the car, but your little sister guards her rollerblades too well. You constantly try to differentiate one model 4 cylinder from another, while those with complete cars can see no difference as they accelerate past them on the highway. You refuse to admit any similarity between a Zetec and a Victa GTS Lawnmower engine. Hallucinations - When driving on dirt, you become possessed by the spirit of Possum Bourne. When repairing the car after driving on dirt and discovering you dont actually own a rally car, Possum honks the horn and demands to know whats taking so long. Physical Traits - Unresponsive hearing resulting from continual honks from passing traffic. The ability to contort your body into a shoebox with enough spare room to still look around and say "roomy" Treatment The only known cure is to save enough money to buy the missing 4 cylinders. Prognosis Untreated the patient could spiral into agoraphobic responses, retreating inside the car like a hermit, turning up a Kenny G Album, and ignoring the outside world completely.
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1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan 1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack 2003 BA Fairlane G220 Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM |
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04-07-2005, 06:21 PM | #8 | ||||
Detroit Locker Equiped TM
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Area 51 (tm)
Posts: 4,928
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Quote:
:evilsasmo By the way, the last Cleveland was made in 1982. :
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Apollo Blue 1974 XB Falcon GT, 557 HP Blue Pearl 2004 BA FPV GT, 290 kW Quote:
http://www.facebook.com/FalconGTClubGeelong |
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04-07-2005, 12:07 PM | #9 | |||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Adelaide Hills
Posts: 1,464
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Quote:
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1998 Ford Fairlane - 4.0L
18x8 RJR rims - Tinted - King Suspension - 2.5" D&T Cat Back Exhaust |
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04-07-2005, 02:26 PM | #10 | ||||
own the road
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 2,764
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Quote:
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T3 TE50 #146 Quote:
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05-07-2005, 02:34 PM | #11 | |||
Banned
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 8,303
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Quote:
BWAHAHAHA!!!! Can't wait for the next installment, and can't understand why I didn't find this thread earlier... |
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12-09-2006, 10:26 PM | #12 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Western Australia
Posts: 216
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Lol... Well done! :
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Current Falcon: 2005 BF Falcon XR6 Vixen Previous Falcons: 2003 BA Falcon XL Ute White 1994 EF Falcon GLi Aqua bseries.com.au Member And drive a Holden company car... |
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13-09-2006, 12:12 AM | #13 | ||
Regular Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 373
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very funny indeed.
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13-09-2006, 11:52 AM | #14 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sth East Melb
Posts: 2,357
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as an owner of an AU and an eseries, ....... you can all go and get rightfully rodgered.
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Heritage Green EL Ghia Black AUII XR8 Ute |
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13-09-2006, 11:55 AM | #15 | ||||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Some say.......
Posts: 3,830
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Quote:
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Quote:
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24-04-2007, 09:13 PM | #16 | ||
I.B.S is a pain in d'***
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Central Coast NSW
Posts: 1,431
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"You believe that eventually Cardigans will come back into style, once Ford "Wakes Up!" and start producing brand new Carbie fed Clevelands for the BC Falcon"
No us Clevo owners are only waiting for the return of KB beer and lolly gobble bliss bombs.
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I DONT BELIEVE IN NOS.............but if its given to you free at the hospital well then |
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29-01-2009, 06:57 PM | #17 | ||
The Vengeful One
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Tazzy
Posts: 12,762
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I own an E-Series, therefore i no owning a T3 is better than a GT lol!!
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04-07-2005, 10:39 AM | #18 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 12,083
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Bwahahahahahahahahahahah!!!!
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Older, wiser, poorer. Now in Euro-Trash. VW Coupe V6 4motion.
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04-07-2005, 10:43 AM | #19 | ||
Tricolore Tard
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 1,954
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hahahahah that is brilliant !
chris
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04-07-2005, 10:45 AM | #20 | ||
PM me if you want
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Pk Ranger Modding - QLD 👍
Posts: 7,498
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LOL .......... all good and a great read. well done, cant wait to see more
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Owner of first ever car to retrofit BA SSS - the EA2BA Send me a PM if you want to know anything 2010 Ford Ranger PK High Rider (Auto) - 2011 Ford Fiesta (Auto)
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04-07-2005, 11:13 AM | #21 | ||||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Patch
Posts: 1,011
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Quote:
Ronald continues to deny me the 'good stuff' and I have this urge to plug my credit card number into any website that has 'JDM', 'Jap' or 'Import' in it.
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Quote:
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04-07-2005, 11:20 AM | #22 | ||||
PM me if you want
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Pk Ranger Modding - QLD 👍
Posts: 7,498
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Quote:
Quote:
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Owner of first ever car to retrofit BA SSS - the EA2BA Send me a PM if you want to know anything 2010 Ford Ranger PK High Rider (Auto) - 2011 Ford Fiesta (Auto)
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04-07-2005, 12:09 PM | #23 | ||
_Oo===oO_
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Canberra
Posts: 1,471
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hahahahahahaha ahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahaha
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COURAGE - ENDURANCE - MATESHIP - SACRIFICE
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04-07-2005, 12:23 PM | #24 | ||
Smile
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Merrylands Sydney
Posts: 8,540
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AHHAhahHHAHHAuiaAHA ..you are a funny bastard sourbastard!!!
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Stingray Car Security ph 0414445444 Single din radio fascias for fg to fgx fords Australia wide . FG 1 2 and 3 gauge holder in stock now! https://stingraycar.com.au/shop/ Site Sponsor See Sponsor Stingray Car Security 😍👌✌ AU wagon 6 14.241@96.75 1/4 mile sold.Octane fg xr6 turbo!! 12.312 112.21 mph home tune f6 injectors gone ..now in nitro fgxr6t ready to go again |
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04-07-2005, 12:35 PM | #25 | |||
Cuban... nothing like it
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Watching in amusement
Posts: 11,643
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Oh that is absolute class
and so damm true Well done, Im in tears, going to print that and stick it up on my desk!
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Quote:
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04-07-2005, 12:41 PM | #26 | ||
not here much anymore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sthn NSW
Posts: 22,918
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: these are fantastic. Alhough Im wondering whether I should ask to see the "4 Cylinder Ford"owners syndrome specs. :::
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RAM 1500
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04-07-2005, 12:47 PM | #27 | |||
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
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Quote:
After that, HSV & Monaro Owners. Then early falcon owners.
__________________
1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan 1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack 2003 BA Fairlane G220 Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM |
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04-07-2005, 01:02 PM | #28 | |||
not here much anymore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Sthn NSW
Posts: 22,918
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Quote:
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RAM 1500
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04-07-2005, 01:04 PM | #29 | |||
Moderator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Adelaide SA
Posts: 5,584
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Quote:
__________________
1965 XP Falcon Deluxe Sedan 1978 XC Falcon Wagon Rallypack 2003 BA Fairlane G220 Windsor Powah!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7hT9dxD2hM |
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04-07-2005, 01:22 PM | #30 | ||
FF.Com.Au Hardcore
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 12,083
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Just joined all the gold together in the top post so none ever get lost.
Now I'm going to look for a tissue to wipe away all the tears of laughter.
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Older, wiser, poorer. Now in Euro-Trash. VW Coupe V6 4motion.
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