Depression, Anxiety

[nearlythere]

Thought I'd also share something I've learnt.Life doesn't really get any better the older you get I've just found you get stronger as you get older to deal with things you once found absolutely the worst thing ever!I've also found that life is like a battery you cannot have a positive without a negative or a negative without a positive or it just won't work, It all balances out. If life was 100 positive then it would be rather pointless wouldn't it. You'd never learn. never change and never grow to become a better version of yourself. Anyway, Some might agree with what I've said and some might not and that's ok.

[DFB FGXR6]

Originally Posted by nearlythere

By the way opening up in front of other males is ALOT better than you think because we relate, So what I also suggest is to talk to other men in a similar situation as they will often give the best support. If GPs, therapists, shrinks and pills are helping you cope then that's great but alot of what your told and given band aid solutions to the underlying problems you are probably not even aware of. Alot reamin dormant and will arise again until you learn the best ways to cope that works for you as we are all different.Everything I've written is from my own experience and we all react differently to different types of assistance but that's mine and if it helps even one person then that's something. To anyone struggling just remember you matter! You're loved and that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.God bless

Originally Posted by nearlythere

I get what you're saying but if you look around you'll see things aint what they used to be..
Chris Rock once said " Only women children and dogs are loved unconditionally.As a man in 2024 you are to sit down shut up and only be useful when required. We cannot cry or speak up without being seen as weak if we keep it up.Society now revolves around women, the LGBTQ community, gender equality, trans ect.Statistics on suicide regarding men is through the roof. 9 people a day in Australia take their own lives and 75% of those are men.I am 45 with a wife and 5 children and I have attempted to take my own life 3 times in the last 5 years. My kids are what give me the most strength.The things I've done and tried to pull myself out is exhausting but I'm still here.I have been to 3 GPs, therapists, shrinks and I got locked away in the mental ward for a while when I tried again to take my own life.NONE of these helped atleast not in the long run. It's all BS and you need to work it out yourself. Yes my family has been there for me but there is only so much others can do for you, you MUST help yourself and understand the world has changed and that basically no one is your court as much you think or like. After 30 years this is what I've learnt. I now sit back, keep 95% to myself and simply march forward. By finally figuring out that it's pretty much on me I'm coping better.Unless you've been where I and many other males have been then you or anyone else simply have no idea.

I'm so sorry to have raised these issues, it's such a touchy subject and genuinely hope you are in a better place to talk about it now.

No one wants to talk about these topics, but when the grim event happens, there seems to be a stigma around an apparent "easy way out". I watched this happen in real time as news spread about a family's co-worker taking his own life and leaving two young children behind. Terms like "selfish" and "easy way out" really help no one in this situation, and all I could think of was how lost that young man would have felt, not at the apparent selfishness of his actions.

And agree with you about males being stigmatized. In no way do I condone certain negative male-dominated behaviors, but its to the point now where being male is almost a "guilty till proven innocent" deal. And you see this permeating the entire of society. Perhaps the "warriors" out there advocating for female rights should have a little think about the adverse effect it can have on the male population that ISNT a rapist, an aggressive pig or objectifier. Probably said too much.

I also agree that everyone needs to find their own coping mechanisms. In my case, the path I took started with a GP who I trusted and was comfortable approaching, which in turn led to seeing a therapist who I also trust. Has this solved all of my problems? Not at all, I will always need "mental health maintenance". Before though, I was otherwise just coping in silence. Now, I have avenues to let it out, sometimes it takes me a little deeper, sometimes it affirms the progress I have made.

As I said at the start, I hope I haven't dragged something up that has hit a nerve, I would never intend to do that. Be well.

[nearlythere]

Originally Posted by DFB FGXR6

I'm so sorry to have raised these issues, it's such a touchy subject and genuinely hope you are in a better place to talk about it now. No one wants to talk about these topics, but when the grim event happens, there seems to be a stigma around an apparent "easy way out". I watched this happen in real time as news spread about a family's co-worker taking his own life and leaving two young children behind. Terms like "selfish" and "easy way out" really help no one in this situation, and all I could think of was how lost that young man would have felt, not at the apparent selfishness of his actions. And agree with you about males being stigmatized. In no way do I condone certain negative male-dominated behaviors, but its to the point now where being male is almost a "guilty till proven innocent" deal. And you see this permeating the entire of society. Perhaps the "warriors" out there advocating for female rights should have a little think about the adverse effect it can have on the male population that ISNT a rapist, an aggressive pig or objectifier. Probably said too much. I also agree that everyone needs to find their own coping mechanisms. In my case, the path I took started with a GP who I trusted and was comfortable approaching, which in turn led to seeing a therapist who I also trust. Has this solved all of my problems? Not at all, I will always need "mental health maintenance". Before though, I was otherwise just coping in silence. Now, I have avenues to let it out, sometimes it takes me a little deeper, sometimes it affirms the progress I have made. As I said at the start, I hope I haven't dragged something up that has hit a nerve, I would never intend to do that. Be well.

No you're absolutely fine mate by talking about it all you have not hit a nerve or anything with me at all. I have also witnessed many people ( all men ) taking their own lives over the last 15 years mostly. And yes 'selfish and easy way out' really sucks to hear because it couldn't be further from the truth. The mental torment sometimes is just to much and even your own children are not enough to save you. Now thats someone in a real bad way it's not someone being selfish, it's someone being to strong for to long.I'm glad you're doing ok, Sometimes we need to talk about these things no matter how grim and I really don't think anyone on this forum is going to deliberately make any of us feel any worse so speak up if you feel you'd like to I say. I also think talking to people with the same head issues and experiences is helpful as they can relate and can share coping mechanisms. My issues started at 16 in 1996 and at the time everyone including the docs thought i was just a nutty kid, I got zero help besides one pill that I am still taking because it's hell trying to get off them :( 95% I worked out myself. Anyway..Can I ask what triggers your anxiety or makes your depression worse? You can send a PM if you want

PS, I know somethings I've said may have contradicted what I said at the start of these comments but I have my reasons and when I'm talking to someone with some issues I want to help I suppose.