Funny true car stories

[roddy1960]

G'day....Funny , true car stories !!!!!!!!...Tell us some funny happenings over the years.. Here's a couple I've seen..
Back in the day I used to do a lot of fishing.. One day my dad was with me and as we waited for a friend when we turned up early on morning . He was mucking around on old early 60's VW combi van as we were approaching. We watched as he speedily pulled a log of wood from behind the front wheel and then hopped in to reverse it way back uphill in the the yard..
Dad and I were mystified..When Ted came back with his rods and stuff and threw them in the boot ..we asked him." We bought it real cheap for the boy to do up over time , , and no compression , slipping clutch , handbrake buggered and he pulls more than it does and she only goes uphill in reverse til we rip her down and do her up .We got it yesty " . We just about carked laughing , all three of us.. Tell you what though , she finished up a pretty tidy old van and they went all over the place in it...
Another one was from a few years ago.. I was at a local BP garage owned by a mate who was also a RACT agent.. He was on his own and had a couple of jobs on the go.. The phone rang...He came out of the office with a stupid smile on his face...He told me ...there's a woman at Four Mile Creek (about 10 kms from where we were) who's puppy had locked her keys in the car . Then he said , she has no idea where the spare is and the engine is running .. She had put the dog in , started the old Magna wagon and gone back inside to get something she'd forgotten ,when the pup had central locked the car from the inside..Husband was away and can't get in to the car..
My friend had to get me to hang around while he went to fix..
He was only away about 20 minutes..Turns out ...When he got there he was sheepishly told by the old dear that there was a spare car key on the bunch of keys she had with the house and shed keys she'd used to go in to get the forgotten item...She'd remembered a spare key was in amongst about 7-8 assorted keys just as my friend had got to the house..
KNOW YOUR KEYS... It was kind of funny though...Cheers Rod...

[Stefan]

I can only assume they may be funny when told at the pup after 10 schooners...

[marty351]

This ones a whizzer.
Mate and I had just replaced head gasket on an old vk 202 when he decided he wanted to check lifters on side of eng block. Before hand I had been cleaning valve train with rp7/wd40, the excess draining into the sump. He couldn't find a torch, so decided it was a good idea to use a lighter instead. Whilst I was standing next to drivers door reaching for a spanner, an Almighty bang with oil spray and orange flame engulfed his face while buried in the engine bay.
With singed eyebrows and hair, not to mention a black face, it was by far the funniest thing I have ever witnessed.

[Tassie f100]

Originally Posted by Stefan

I can only assume they may be funny when told at the pup after 10 schooners...

Only if you get the PUP to sit and listen to you

[vbvbvb088]

Four friends, full boot. My 1969 HB Torana 1.2 auto overtaken by a tram in High Street, Kew, Melbourne. I won off the radio an advanced driving class at Calder Park Thunderdome. At the end we were allowed to do a few laps so long as stayed behind instructor. Same car....passed by a Mitsubishi L300 van....

[vbvbvb088]

Originally Posted by marty351

This ones a whizzer.
Mate and I had just replaced head gasket on an old vk 202 when he decided he wanted to check lifters on side of eng block. Before hand I had been cleaning valve train with rp7/wd40, the excess draining into the sump. He couldn't find a torch, so decided it was a good idea to use a lighter instead. Whilst I was standing next to drivers door reaching for a spanner, an Almighty bang with oil spray and orange flame engulfed his face while buried in the engine bay.
With singed eyebrows and hair, not to mention a black face, it was by far the funniest thing I have ever witnessed.

Ahhhh - sounds like Leo ****** checking the motorbikes petrol tank......

[marty351]

Originally Posted by vbvbvb088

Ahhhh - sounds like Leo ****** checking the motorbikes petrol tank......

Yeah, almost the same thing only he didn't think of all the solvent fumes floating around the engine bay.

[paulie]

Years ago. At the servo waiting for the pump.
Watching a women squeezing a bottle into her petrol tank. With a frustrated look on her face she gingerly aproaches me and asks.
- excuse me but i wonder if you could help. Im trying to put this into my car but i cant do it.

Have a look and its still got the silver safety seal ontop....
Luckily.
she was trying to put engine stop smoke into her petrol tank....
After i stopped laughing i told her it had to go into the oil.

[GO FURTHER]

A friend of my wife with a fairly new car, got a recall letter from the manufacturer in the mail.

Stated that the car needed an upgrade to the computer software for some safety issue and to ring up and book it with a dealer.

She rings the dealer... and says, "Do you want me to leave the engine running and car unlocked while you do the software upgrade?"

The dealer responds... "Sorry Madam.... What do you mean?"

She responds... "Aren't you going to download and upgrade my car computer over the phone?"

No, it was not an Expensive Euro or Tesla that can do that... And yes she is a blonde

[Peter B - CV8]

Many years ago my Mum fell in love with an old MG Magnette that she noticed was for sale. It had been recently resprayed, new upholstery etc & didn't look too bad - so she bought it for $4k. She must have been the only person in Sydney who showed any interest in it - as it was advertised for $8k..
Fast forward 6 months & rust is erupting from the roof gutters, bottom of doors, sills etc etc. I have a talk to her & she agrees to get rid of it & I spend the next few weekends bogging her up & painting - so that it looks presentable. Lo & behold we find a purchaser for $4k (pretty remarkable as this particular model is as popular as a red headed step child)... Anyhow, I get a call from Mum about a month later & she proudly announces that she's brought the same car back from the people she's sold it to (because she "missed it") !!. And she had to pay $6k for it as well - even though the rust was re- emerging & it had picked up a fair sized dent in the rear quarter...oh, and the rego only had another week to go as well.
Didn't talk to her for at least a month & within 12 months the car wouldn't pass rego inspection & has been parked up in a shed ever since with chunks of rust littering the ground beneath it..

[roKWiz]

Back in 83, I owned an old $400 HJ Holden Panel van I called "Battletruck" back then it was a filler while I was rebuilding my other HX PV. I was driving back from my GF house in Pymble being a bit of a hoon, when I was shadowed by a new Falcon XD-XE (??) police car being driven by a young constable fresh from St Ives driving training school. Seems he was just as bad a hoon and tried several times to get in front of me at all the lights along the way. He got baulked a few times by slower traffic until finally he came ripping up behind me onto the slip lane that use to exist entering Epping Rd at North Ryde.
Now back then Epping Rd had a pedestrian crossing (yeah across 6 lanes in a 80km zone) Just as I approached , I could see a young schoolgirl running across from the bus on the other side. Her mother waiting on my side.
I hit the brakes at roughly 70kph (80km speed limit here) and looking in my mirrors thinking where's the cop, when bang the cop car hit me with such a force I was pushed clean across the crossing with other witnesses jumping clear.
The young copper jump out and was yelling that I was turning off with no indicator over and over until the mum and a couple of other drivers assured him that was not the case. The new falcon was totalled and because it was a police base car every cop in the district came out to see this guys wreck. The Battletruck had a full wagon bumper on the back which took the full impact. I couldn't believe it when I saw only the bumper was crushed with little other damage.
The cop was charged with dangerous driving. The Police kept contacting me for month after making sure I was well compensated.

I guess the young copper from the driving school didn't find this story so funny but it later forced the authorities to lower the speed limit here and build a foot bridge over the road.
here;s the Battletruck I kept for several years complete with a new rear bumper. This van seemed to draw in trouble, I can't think why?

[LyleXR8]

Brand new EL wagon won't start was towed into the dealer, upon investigation the female owner noticed the oil was low when she looked in the oil cap so proceeded to fill it to the top of the rocker cover, cap on n cranked it!!