Farts spark emergency landing

bunny · 07-12-2006, 11:53 AM

farts will get you in trouble

An American Airlines flight made an emergency landing this week after a passenger with severe gas problems struck matches to mask the odor of flatulence, an official said.

The flight from Washington to Texas landed at Nashville airport on Tuesday, in the southeastern state of Tennessee, after passengers alerted the crew about the smell of burning sulfur, Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority said.

She said all 99 passengers and their luggage were taken off the plane and searched, and an unlucky canine team was brought in to sniff the aircraft for explosives.

After intense questioning by the FBI, a woman passenger admitted to lighting matches on board the aircraft to conceal her gas, Lowrance said.

"For a long time she did not admit to striking matches and I think that was just out of embarrassment," she said. "She did finally admit to it saying she had a medical problem about excessive gas."

The unidentified woman was not charged but "American did ban her from flying on their airline for a very long time," Lowrance said.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=169157

whats your fart story?

snortycorty · 07-12-2006, 11:58 AM

LOL what a crack up!

I love farting stories, so everyone let em rip! hehehehehe
(sorry couldnt help myself ^^)

Dezza · 07-12-2006, 12:02 PM

Bahahaha. Farting stories are great.

Like there was one time back at school, where we had a big school mass. My cousin then decided to let one rip. It was hilarious for a couple of reasons. The first because it was fairly quiet in the church so we could all hear the fart. Secondly, the smell hung around for the entire mass. It was horrid.

MITCHAY · 07-12-2006, 12:05 PM

If my mate could get his farts to light, he would blow the whole plane up

:

GXL078 · 07-12-2006, 12:04 PM

I fart a lot. My wife is always lighting matches. She says she learnt the trick from an American

photn · 07-12-2006, 12:12 PM

my gf dad farts and blames the cat sitting in its bed across the other side of the room lol

xbcool · 07-12-2006, 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by photn

my gf dad farts and blames the cat sitting in its bed across the other side of the room lol

bwahahahaha
cat must be a ventriliquist

:

GXL078 · 07-12-2006, 12:19 PM

Sometimes, when teaching a class I would let one go near the back of the room and quickly walk to the front. It was funny to look back and see the boys in the back row blaming each other and hitting each other, classic.

EA2BA · 07-12-2006, 05:05 PM

mythbusters, lighting the match does nothing to reduce/remove the gasses, the smell of the burning match will mask the smell however. So its all a myth that lighting a match does anything at all, but whatever makes you feel better.

Feathers · 07-12-2006, 08:20 PM

So it wasn't really the farting that got her in trouble, it was the lighting of the matches.

b-juggles · 07-12-2006, 08:28 PM

i reckon she was just trying to light them up...does anyone remember that guy on the footy show that lit his farts...that was gold!!!

zetec · 07-12-2006, 08:38 PM

I was living in Belgium for a year on exchange, where they are pretty liberal for most things, but somehow farting isn't one of them at all!

I was sitting in class one day and feeling pretty crook, like sore guts kinda crook. The teacher happened to walk out to grab something from her office and I was sitting next to this chick I liked. I had to let one go so I dropped my guts, thankfully it was silent. Thought I had got away with it.

5 seconds later I smelt this stench that was like a combination of something dead, something rotten, everything nasty rolled into one. It was the worst fart I had/have ever done with NO exceptions. It hit her in no time and she looked strangely at me, then I lost it and started crying with laughter at the look on her face, tears were streaming down my face.

It spread through the ENTIRE classroom, some guys opened the windows and the door and no joke, it was horrific. I was half expecting the blackboard to fall off the wall!! You could almost see it floating in the air... like a haunted fog.

It literally dissipated about a millisecond before the teacher walked back in and everyone regained their composure, but suffice to say I wasn't at school the next day, wasn't feeling well at all!!!

I don't think I'll ever beat it, and I know for a fact that girl doesn't like me anymore!

MITCHAY · 10-12-2006, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zetec

I was living in Belgium for a year on exchange, where they are pretty liberal for most things, but somehow farting isn't one of them at all!

I was sitting in class one day and feeling pretty crook, like sore guts kinda crook. The teacher happened to walk out to grab something from her office and I was sitting next to this chick I liked. I had to let one go so I dropped my guts, thankfully it was silent. Thought I had got away with it.

5 seconds later I smelt this stench that was like a combination of something dead, something rotten, everything nasty rolled into one. It was the worst fart I had/have ever done with NO exceptions. It hit her in no time and she looked strangely at me, then I lost it and started crying with laughter at the look on her face, tears were streaming down my face.

It spread through the ENTIRE classroom, some guys opened the windows and the door and no joke, it was horrific. I was half expecting the blackboard to fall off the wall!! You could almost see it floating in the air... like a haunted fog.

It literally dissipated about a millisecond before the teacher walked back in and everyone regained their composure, but suffice to say I wasn't at school the next day, wasn't feeling well at all!!!

I don't think I'll ever beat it, and I know for a fact that girl doesn't like me anymore!

: That reminds me of the people who put stink bombs under the legs of chairs. It was so bad that we had to get another classroom.

One thing I have learnt. If someone farts in the car, don't put the windows down as it will draw it towards your nose on it's way out

GXL078 · 07-12-2006, 09:04 PM

Too much Belgian chocolate?

rodderz · 07-12-2006, 09:37 PM

Q. Did you hear about the Irishman who farted in the bath?
A. He drowned trying to smell it!

gtfpv · 07-12-2006, 09:54 PM

the loudest bubbliest harmonic fart i ever heard was from a stunning looking girl . i was 15 on holidays and walking past 3 beautiful looking girls about the same age . one of the girls let one rip for about 8 seconds . the other 2 laughed there heads off . and i just went red.

HLC · 07-12-2006, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gtfpv

the loudest bubbliest harmonic fart i ever heard was from a stunning looking girl . i was 15 on holidays and walking past 3 beautiful looking girls about the same age . one of the girls let one rip for about 8 seconds . the other 2 laughed there heads off . and i just went red.

thats hot. you should have asked her out.

bunny · 08-12-2006, 02:16 AM

my boyfriend sits on me and farts on me.... he always has gas to fart on me but never when we want to fart in my brothers car and leave it in the sun all day and for other things.....

i swear he saves up his gas all day just to let it all go around me... charming

in the end i guess... he's still doing something just for me

xbcool · 08-12-2006, 07:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bunny

my boyfriend sits on me and farts on me.... he always has gas to fart on me but never when we want to fart in my brothers car and leave it in the sun all day and for other things.....

i swear he saves up his gas all day just to let it all go around me... charming

in the end i guess... he's still doing something just for me

sounds like true love

:

snortycorty · 08-12-2006, 11:44 AM

I love dutch ovens hehehe (of course i DONT like being on the receiving end lol)
When we were younger my friend and i used to see who could out do one another, we'd be in fits of giggles for hours!

One thing I'm traumatised about though is once when my little bro and i were play fighting, he sat on my head, and he farted, i swear it all went in my mouth and up my nose, it was FOUL! I cant do it back to him tho cos its just wrong!

And my partners father does some great farts! he farted once while sitting on the floor, it sounded like this huge crack of thunder, even made the floor boards shake, the poor dog absolutely crapped herself and bolted from the room lol, she was scared of thunder, was a crack up!

Now that dog though lets some foul ones go, and you can always tell its her because everyone starts complaining and arguing about who let it off, and the next thing the dog is creeping out of the room, trying to keep low, its a classic to see!

Dazza XLT · 08-12-2006, 11:52 AM

I am all for covering up a fart, with deodorant, a cough etc etc
But striking matches to cover one up when on an aircraft... Not the smartest move!

FordFan86 · 08-12-2006, 12:03 PM

I was letting some rippers go all day yesterday at work... they STUNK! I felt bad when the customers walked in... But I had the air con on and it was blowing it away from them thank God.
Since primary school i've always had a mate that we just try and out do each other with smell and sound...
The best memory I've got recently and from uni...
We were in legal class and I had a bit of gas... I'd been trying to get the sound out but they were all silent. Eventually I worked one up and was just about to give it a good squeezing to see what sort of sound I could get out of it, and at that very moment the teacher said something and the class went silent, and you know it.. I let one rip. The class just looked at our table (about 15 people looking at 5 guys on a table in the corner) and all 5 of us just lost it with laughter... we were in tears till the class finished... I sent an email to the demonstrator and apoligised... still yet to have a beer with him ahahaha.

GTP owner · 08-12-2006, 12:46 PM

Why is it that farts make you laugh? This thread had me giggling.

TheSneakiness · 08-12-2006, 12:58 PM

:

*Must leave this thread, too funny*

Reminds me of one I did when I first moved into where I am now and I swear that it would've made your teeth fall out.

The Monty · 08-12-2006, 02:39 PM

Im a culprit of doing one in the lift thats crowded, just as the doors open up, and I hop off. I cant imagine what the people left in there think.

gozza · 08-12-2006, 03:40 PM

I liked to walk past lines of people at school tuckshop whilst in mid fart

thats what we used to call "leaving a snails trail"

Jeld-Wen Falcon · 08-12-2006, 04:16 PM

I love the silent but deadly's in confined spaces. I cant smell, so extra fun for me.

zetec · 08-12-2006, 06:02 PM

Nothing better than Crop Dusting at work, the old fart-fly-by to share it with everyone.
Gold.

Jeeepers · 08-12-2006, 06:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zetec

Nothing better than Crop Dusting at work, the old fart-fly-by to share it with everyone.
Gold.

Especially when expertly released while viewing dvd's at blockbuster....

Jeeepers · 08-12-2006, 06:55 PM

An interesting article on the J's news some time back, stated that an English University Study (Can't remember which Uni) showed that while men had the greater in volume for farts, women were inclined to be more potent for odour.