[DFB FGXR6]

Found out today that my father has colon cancer.

He has probably seen doctors over the last few months than he has in his entire life, in other words he hates doctors and will faint at the sight of a needle. So, I'm proud of his bravery.

I'm both upset and unsurprised at the same time. He's been unwell for a while, doing his best to hide it from me. He normally doesn't like to talk about this sort of thing, which has sort of stopped me from asking questions. He went into hospital this Monday to have it removed, apparently, it's been caught early before and may not require chemo. I took today off, the week has been stressful, and I wanted to be available to pick him up from hospital without having to worry about getting back to selling someone another bloody pot plant. He's been my rock and taken me to countless appointments and procedures as I chased my own health issues, I had to be there for him.

I think a combination of having my head in the sand and those around me not speaking about it led to only discovering the truth this morning. Originally, I was told they were removing some non-cancerous lumps, so I guess I left it at that. I feel like a horrible son, I should have asked, should have talked more. I feel ashamed of myself for not being more present, despite being a chin-up sort of man, he would have been terrified. I feel like I have failed him.