Wear rate depends on how often and at what speed the brakes are applied.
I use drill bits laid flat on the disc to check if
under 2.0 mm, the specified minimum.
I don't mind the sharp response of the factory brakes, just press a bit less.
In an emergency brake (kangaroo), I try to remember to slam down as hard as I can
and let
ABS deal with it.
The black dust doesn't bother me, I have black steel rims, which I prefer because the tyres are thicker.